Surprise I am writing you on a Wednesday!!!! Its my gift to you! I want to be an awesome blogger so in order to do that I think I should do what the other bloggers are doing. So I have for you today a guest post. My brother in-law Greg is going to share with you today his experience with a spider. I hope you are ready to laugh because this man is awesomely hilarious!

 

In case you’re wondering, white men can indeed dance…

Today I was at work and Jennifer sent me a text.  As I went to retrieve the phone from my pocket, I looked down to see a spider-about the size of a quarter-running across my midsection.  Thinking quickly I screamed, ( to disorient said spider and to invoke  the power of the “rebel yell”), turned around, (unsure why this occurred), and started vigorously slapping the area that the spider was last seen, (the reason for this should be obvious).  In my haste to remove the spider from his host, (me), I lost track of what I had on, (gun belt, magazines, handcuffs, pepper spray, baton, and pistol), and continued assaulting the aforementioned location, (while deftly spinning, and at the same time asking all assembled if “he was still there?!?”).

Turns out he wasn’t…

The tsunami of movement created a vortex that propelled the spider across the room and onto the floor.  The co-worker closest to me advised that “he’s running by the door”, (obviously attempting to escape the fury of the giant he had recently awakened).  With one more battle cry, I leaped upon him with one foot, crushing him and leaving his body as a warning to others.

And I think I broke my finger.